What the Pho? A Reality Check for the Good Stuff

29 12 2013

Whether we are actively participating in it or merely watching from the sidelines, life does indeed march on.  There were at least fifteen years that I felt like life was marching on without me, that I was missing everything, that others were having wonderful experiences and that I was excluded.  I had thoughts that I was destined to misery because I didn’t deserve anything better, that somehow I just wasn’t worthy of the good stuff.  It seemed like everyone else had happy relationships, good jobs, lots of friends, fun hobbies at which they excelled; you name it, they had it and I didn’t and that’s because they were better than me.  I got what I got because I didn’t deserve the good stuff.  That kind of a funk goes by a lot of names – depression, grief, and addiction, just to name a few – but I have come to think of it as the darkness before the light.  That’s how it played out in my life.

A set of designer circumstances made just for me led me out of that period of my life.   I encountered other people who helped me understand that I was battling a phenomenon based on selfishness and fear; I wanted things to be the way I wanted them, and I was unwilling to accept any other outcome.  I didn’t know what would happen if things didn’t go my way, but I was convinced it wouldn’t be good.  This kept me on a proverbial merry-go-round of self-pity, anger, and frustration for a very long time.  I was so caught up in having things my way that I could not appreciate things as they actually were.  Reality didn’t stand a chance with me; I was totally focused on how things “should” be.  I missed a lot of opportunities wishing for things to be different, wanting circumstances to be as I envisioned them.

As it turns out, my mother was in a similar place for almost the exact same period.  I didn’t realize the parallels in our situations until she recently found her way out of her own funk.  I can’t help but wonder if our circumstances were related, and there is certainly some history that would indicate they were linked despite our relative estrangement during that time. For now I will live that question and not worry about the answer.  What matters is that we both found our way out.

I now possess faith in a power that influences the circumstances around me.  Without getting into it too deep, I think of it as a universal life force.  For many, a belief in a well-defined Deity and the practice of a religion provides this same structure upon which I have come to rely.  It’s all good; whatever gets you past thinking that you are the center of the universe is all that matters.  Being plugged in, connected, a part of something bigger than myself was and is the key to leaving that funk behind.  Awareness of others and their struggles is essential to me; I receive through giving.  Believing I have a purpose and can contribute to the lives of others in a myriad of ways is what saved me from myself-destructive path. I now serve as a mentor to others, and the gratitude and humility that comes with that process is its own reward; indeed, it is the key to my continued happiness and peace.

I barely remember what it was like to pine after all the stuff that supposedly marks success in our modern world.  The nice house, the fancy car, the private schools for the kids, the latest electronic gadgets, the wildest vacations to the most exotic places; this list could go on indefinitely.  I had most of it at some point, and I was miserable.  Insert your own desires into that list and then ask yourself these questions:

What if success is not really about any of that?

What if all your possessions fit into the back of a pick-up truck?

What if that fulfillment you are seeking doesn’t come when you get all the stuff and achieve all the goals?

What if all that really matters is this moment right now?

Who is with you right this moment and what are you doing?  Pay attention to the moment at hand.  Be with who you are with right now, not who you think you want to be with.  What is happening around you at this moment? Maybe all the fulfillment and blessings you seek are right here, right now.

I have come to think of every moment as THE moment to which I should pay attention, and when it’s done, I should pay attention to the next one.  Right now, I’m thinking about how satisfied I am with my life.  I don’t have much of anything on that success list from above anymore, but I feel more successful than ever before.  I feel valued, worthy, good enough, deserving of the peace and satisfaction I am experiencing in my life.  Everything is just fine the way it is, despite it not being how I imagined.

I know how to listen to people and really hear them, and often how to respond in a helpful way.  I know how to read and really comprehend, to learn.  I know how to be productive at work and stay focused on the immediate tasks, not concerning myself with tomorrow’s tasks.  My mother, who was waiting to die alone in her apartment for 15+ years, is now healthy and happy with new friends in a safe, cozy living environment.  My daughter just moved 1,000 miles closer to me this month, so the odds of seeing her and my grandson more often are greatly increased.  I love my job, even though the business I work for struggles and my pay is below average.  I learned the basics of pottery making recently, something I’ve wanted to do for 7 years or so.  My bills are paid.  I have a cozy apartment, and two small dogs that I adore. I have a reliable automobile.  I have a handful of friends and family with whom I have close relationships that I deeply value, and a variety of acquaintances with whom I have casual relationships for which I am grateful.  I am rich in spirit.  I am fulfilled. Reality does not suck.  I have the good stuff.

Lest you think its all sunshine and sprinkles over here, I still have health issues and other unpleasantness to deal with – who doesn’t?  That’s real living.  A few months ago I got sick and had increasingly more severe abdominal pain, nausea, and diarrhea over the course of several weeks.  I’ve had a CT Scan at the emergency room, though I have not had the opportunity to follow up with a GI doctor because my primary care doc thinks I just had a virus and won’t give me a referral.  I am a disabled veteran and patient at the Veteran’s Administration and do not have private health insurance, so I had to take matters into my own hands and find solutions for myself that didn’t require a so-called professional.

So I don’t have a diagnosis, though I do know a few things that it isn’t.  I have come to think of it as a sensitive gut.  OK, let’s say wildly sensitive. When desperation led me to eliminating nearly everything from my diet and trying to find something, anything that I could eat without agony, my current journey began.  I started introducing one new food item at a time (starting with potatoes), waiting a day for the outcome, and making a list of do’s and don’ts.  I was off the sofa and back to work within a couple days of starting this minimalist approach.  I am no longer able to eat dairy products, legumes, or grains of any kind.  Most veggies are fine, though I have to be careful with raw greens and cruciferous veggies as they cause very painful ‘inflation’ if I eat more than a small amount at once.  Packaged anything is probably not OK because dairy and wheat are used in most all packaged foods.  To say that I am now a meat and potatoes girl isn’t really a stretch.  Fruits, nuts, and most seafood seem to work for me also, though apples and shrimp have caused some mild problems recently.  It’s sort of a Paleolithic diet, but not strictly that either.  It’s whatever my gut says.  That’s how I make my dietary decisions now.

Now when I say ‘unable to eat’ these things, I don’t mean like a classic allergy – swelling throat, rash, imminent death.  I mean if I eat them, I will find myself writhing on the sofa in pain within 12-24 hours between my runs to the bathroom for, well, the runs.  Is it life threatening?  I guess not.  But when you can’t leave the house because you can’t take the toilet with you, and you can’t stand up straight because of the pain, it’s pretty hard to live normally.  The worst of it is the pain, which 800mgs of ibuprofen three times a day doesn’t even touch.  The ER doctor offered me narcotics, but really?  I need a solution, not a chemical Band Aid (which, I might add, has the unfortunate side effect of causing constipation.  What was he thinking? But let’s not go there.)

As I write this now, I am experiencing some minor pain and wondering what I ate yesterday that might be the culprit.  Such is my new life.  For a foodie like me, this whole scenario is a nightmare that has me saying ‘What the Pho?’  I am now making food for others that I cannot eat; teaching people to cook things that I can no longer enjoy; and soon to be once again judging the culinary creations of others at a local cooking competition during which I may not be able to taste more than a small bite of each dish lest I suffer the consequences.  I don’t know at this moment if this is my new ‘normal’, or if some looming gastrointestinal crisis will force me to go back to the doctor that thought I merely had ‘viral gastroenteritis’ three months ago and beg him to help me (when what I really want to do is tell him to go screw himself).  The whole thing is a bit unnerving, to be honest.  I mean, how does one go from eating anything without issue to looking at all food as a potential source of agony in just a few months? Can diet alone solve my problems, or is there something else going on that will eventually have to be identified and addressed?

I don’t have all the answers.  For the moment, I have found some working solutions down the clean eating, Paleo, real food road.  They may or may not turn out to be lasting.  Whether you have GI issues like me or not, this flavorful spin on a Vietnamese classic that I like to call “Faux Pho” is a real-food flavorful dish with a variety of textures (by the way, Pho is pronounced ‘fuh’).  It helps me not feel deprived as I think of the bread-and-cheese-laden diet of my past with fondness.  Use any ground meat you like, but the organic grass-fed bison was really delish.  That this dish happens to be gluten, grain, and dairy-free is just a bonus.

Until next time, keep it real, people.

Quick Faux PhoIMG_2423

For the Meatballs:

½ pound Ground Bison or Beef, preferably grass fed organic

2 teaspoons Grey Salt (minerals are good for you!)

1 teaspoon freshly cracked Black Pepper

1 clove Garlic, minced or pressed

1 teaspoon Smoked Spanish Paprika


2 tablespoons Olive Oil

3 cloves Garlic, minced or pressed (or a teaspoon of Garlic Powder)

½ teaspoon ground Ginger

½ teaspoon Ground Cardamom

Grey Salt & Pepper, to taste

2 cups Organic Beef Stock (preferably homemade)


Cellophane Noodles (Rice Vermicelli) , soaked in hot water per package directions then drained

¼ cup Fresh Scallions sliced fine

½ cup Mung Bean Sprouts

Assorted fresh veggies, julienned (bell peppers, hot peppers, greens, etc – whatever you have)

Mix the meatball ingredients all together in a small bowl and shape into meatballs, or cook crumbled like you would for sloppy joes – whichever you prefer (it’s hard to eat crumbled meat with chopsticks, I’m just sayin’).  Preheat a deep skillet with 2 tablespoons of olive oil and cook the meatballs or crumbled meat until cooked through.

Add the garlic, ginger, and cardamom and cook for a minute or two until the garlic is fragrant.  Add the beef stock, stir well, and bring to a simmer.  Cook for 5 minutes to infuse flavor.

Place your prepared rice noodles in a bowl (or two bowls if you are sharing).  Add the scallions, sprouts, and other veggies to the bowl.  Pluck a few meatballs from the pan and add them to the bowl, then ladle in as much broth as you desire.

Using your weapon of choice (spoon or chopsticks), enjoy.  I like to drink the remaining broth right from the bowl.

Phun Phactiod:  Pho is usually enjoyed for breakfast in Vietnam!

The Debt Ceiling: The Case of the Empty Cash Box

16 10 2013

I thought about apologizing for writing about something other than food – again – as I have been in my last couple of posts.  But I decided against it.  That’s what a blog is; a place where anyone can write about what’s on their mind and put it out there for others to read.  So the choice is yours, my friends – read it or not.

I hear people say that they don’t vote because their vote doesn’t matter.  If I could string all those people together and take them to the poles, their votes would indeed matter.  I cannot effect National change with my ramblings on this blog, right?  After all, I’m just one little person in some obscure coastal town in North Carolina who spends her days surrounded by all things kitchen and food.  I mean, what could I possibly know about the complex inner-workings of our Government?  Why would I waste my time ranting about it here?

The answer is simple:  “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.”- Edmund Burke 

I sleep better at night when I have done what I can to contribute to the resolution of problems rather than the exacerbation of them, even if no one pays any attention to me at all.  When I have done the right thing, I rest easy.  The outcome of current Government fiascos is not up to me, but my own actions do indeed matter – they are an expression of my true character.  I am doing an insane amount of research and writing this blog post that has nothing to do with food because I am disturbed by what is going on in our Government and have no other outlet for my frustrations.  I can’t make them stop, at least not until election day rolls around again.  But I can make it known that I am not in agreement with the actions of our Government, and unlike Congress, I can point to documented reasons for my beliefs.  I don’t ever want anyone to think I was complicit in the ridiculous actions (or lack thereof) of our elected officials.  I am guilty of voting for the wrong people, perhaps.  When faced with a field of undesirables, what is one to do?  I will do better next time – if the choices are better.

By writing this post, I hope to spur some people to do their own research and stop believing the babble heard on television.  For all of our Government’s failings, they have done an excellent job of being transparent if you have the patience to dig through the volumes of paper they have generated to find the truth.  Here, I have done some of the digging for you.

Debt Ceiling:  The End of Life as We Know It?

So what the heck is our Federal Government obligated to pay, not obligated to pay, and just what is all this talk of the so-called “Debt Ceiling” about?  How much do we owe, and to whom, and what happens if we don’t pay it?

If I listen to the mainstream media outlets, they want me to believe that the debt ceiling not being increased will bring the Government to a complete standstill, and that the Republicans are to blame for not agreeing to the plan laid out by the Democrats.  Seems simple enough, right?  We all enjoy the relief that comes with having affixed blame somewhere.  But let’s dial this back a bit and understand what’s really going on, shall we?

The truth is that the National Debt Limit is a moving target set by Congress and changed on a regular basis.  For a very long time now, my entire lifetime plus most of my mother’s, Congress has been increasing the debt limit continuously.  Look at the history yourself – don’t take my word for it.  Increasing the debt limit directly implies two key things:  first, that we don’t have enough money to operate our Government as it presently exists; and second, that despite being broke, Congress intends to spend more money that they don’t have.  Indirectly, this implies that the money must come from somewhere to pay these bills.  (It helps in this moment to remember that our Government does not generate any revenue of its own; it merely collects taxes from those persons and entities that earn it through legitimate enterprise and labor.)

If we, as individuals, behave as Congress has and does with regard to debt, we would be in bankruptcy court within 6 months, forced to sell everything we own to pay our debts.  Then we would live with a decade or more of people being unwilling to lend us money of any amount.  Congress has been on this spending spree for decades, unimpeded by any negative consequences.  Imagine if you can that the National Debt is presently $16,747,411,584,091.53 – that’s nearly 17 trillion dollars.  Much of that debt – over $10 trillion dollars – is privately held (according to the US Office of Debt Management in March 2013).  Another $6 trillion of that debt is owned by foreign interests, about $1.5 trillion is backed by investment in Government Bonds & Securities (anyone with a mutual fund, pension plan, etc.), and a big chunk is owned by Banks and Insurance Companies (the same entities we bailed out a couple years ago), our States, and the Federal Government itself (yep, our Government can borrow from itself despite being broke).  Of interest to me is the amount of debt owned by holders of U.S. Savings Bonds – about $180 billion dollars.  Good for you if you have cashed yours in and put the money under your mattress.  You are going to need it.  But I digress.

So is crashing into the current debt ceiling going to cripple Government and change our way of life? Failure of Congress to reach an agreement on raising the debt limit will not completely cripple the Federal Government.  It will, however, take choices away from the lawmakers.  Their predecessors have made certain sections of the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR)positive,” and some of those positive or “statutory” sections of the United States Code (USC) have mandatory funding attached to them.  Things like National Defense (32 USC), The President (3 USC), Federal Elections (11 USC), Judiciary (28 USC), Veterans Benefits (38 USC), Highways (23 USC) and Transportation (49 USC) must be funded, though some sections of those regulations are not statutory and can be altered.  Other titles or sections in the USC, such as Public Health/Housing & Urban Development (42 USC), Employee’s Benefits (20 USC, which includes Social Security), Internal Revenue (26 USC, which includes Social Security Disability), Banks & Banking, Food & Drugs (21 USC), and Education (34 USC) are not statutory parts of our law and will be among the first to have funding withdrawn.  (You may observe here the distinction between statutory and non-statutory, as this is also the line along which Congress fights; they can’t change the statutory things so they fight over the non-statutory items and base their political campaigns on these matters as well).

It could easily be concluded that all of the non-statutory laws and programs that have been passed by Congress over the decades have served to cripple our Government’s ability to fund the statutory programs.  Our Congresses have historically written checks for their pet projects (non-statutory feel-good programs like public housing, public education, and farm subsidies – ironically called “pork” by the media) that have caused the checks written to our core National programs (Defense, Transportation, Veterans benefits) to bounce.  More borrowing was done to keep the checks from bouncing and ‘round we go, every year.

Personally, I hope the Republicans keep stonewalling and refuse to raise the debt limit under the proposed terms.  It isn’t that I agree with their plans, either; rather, I just want our Government to become solvent.  Continuing to write checks we can’t cash is not the way to solvency.  I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I don’t have too much paycheck left to sacrifice for the common good before I too will need public assistance to feed myself and pay my bills.

Heavy reliance on Government to provide basic needs does not work.  It’s expensive, and it is not sustainable.  History shows us many examples of this worldwide, and it is still on display in places like Cuba where they are struggling with how to allow private enterprise without giving up Government control.  Their Government promised to provide everything for the people, all of whom worked for the Government.  Realizing the error of their ways (being broke with no plan), the Cuban Government is now faced with the reality that they cannot provide everything for their people.  Many European countries are at a similar crossroads where their social ideals have gotten too expensive to sustain.  We are right behind them on the same track, and it won’t work for us either.  Dependency breeds laziness and, eventually, contempt.  Human beings don’t value things if they don’t have to work for them, and they are not inclined to work for them if they will be provided for them.  Moreover, our founders broke with England to avoid the very situation in which we now find ourselves – being heavily taxed with no real voice among the decision makers.  Frankly, I don’t think the so-called decision makers are really making decisions based on their consciences anymore; I think they are doing what the people with the money are telling them to do.

So yes, if this stalemate continues, additional programs will be shut down and many of us will be directly impacted by it.  The Government literally has to choose which programs to shut down temporarily to pay for essential (statutory) programs and services.  Who will make the call about what is essential and what isn’t?  It is largely written into law already in the US Code, where some Titles are statutory and must be funded.  Veteran’s Disability Compensation (VDC) and the Military are among those that must be funded; civilian Defense worker’s salaries and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) payments are not.  If there is any money left after the statutory obligations are paid, it will probably be up to the White House to decide who gets it.  I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes.

Credit Ratings and Congress:  Hostages of the Monster They Created

Our financial system in this country is very complex; but I find that most of the complexity exists to camouflage the realities of the system.  At its core, it is not really all that complex.  The dirty little secret is this:  when you use private monies to fund public projects, the public administrators of the funded programs are unavoidably beholden to the lenders.  There is no way to avoid personal agendas when you borrow money.  Even your auto loan is subject to the whims of the organization from which you borrowed; there is undoubtedly language in your contract that allows them to call the loan at any moment, leaving you forced to pay the balance or return the vehicle.  Just look for it, I guarantee it is there, perhaps in some obscure paragraphs that do not seem applicable to you – bank legal jargon.  Most legitimate lenders have a corporate policy of not calling loans unnecessarily, but they have the option if circumstances should make it prudent for them.  If they decided to do so, they would not be the least bit concerned about you.  So it is with loans to our Government from private investors and foreign interests; Government is beholden to those interests and their agendas.  Do what we want or we will call the loan – that is the message that our lawmakers are hearing from investors.

So if you are thinking that this little situation we are in over the Debt Ceiling is just our elected officials behaving badly and fighting amongst themselves, think again.  The ‘lenders’ are undoubtedly on the phone with our Senator’s aides telling them what needs to happen to avoid them calling the loans, and reminding them of the unofficial terms under which the loans were originally given.

The very banks and insurance companies that were bailed out by the Government in 2008 under TARP are among the Government’s creditors now.  These banks have heavily invested in bonds and treasury notes in exchange for the bail outs.  Just as it has become difficult for private citizens to obtain loans under the stringent standards these lenders now apply, so too is it difficult for the Government to obtain loans.  Banks know better than any of us how great a risk our Federal Government is as a borrower.  Our lawmakers created this banking monster, and now they are worried that the banks will not fund them if they lose their AAA credit rating.  Read this speech by Secretary of the Treasury Lew last month and you will see what I am talking about.  He says they have already used up the reserve “cash box” funds and don’t have any “extraordinary measures” left to employ as of October 16th.  Guess what day it is today?

The debt ceiling has officially been reached.  The cash box is empty.

Filling the Empty Cash Box

There are essentially five ways that our country’s empty cash box can be refilled.

  • Domestic Loans – from Private Individuals, Private Corporations, and through additional Bond initiatives (Smart, rich people who want control of our Government)
  • Foreign Loans – China is chief among the possible lenders, and is already a key supporter of our Federal Government (Smart, rich, Foreign individuals and Governments who want control of our Government)
  • Corporate Taxes – Raising taxes for corporations, giving the largest corporations ‘exemptions’ to facilitate them providing loans so that the status quo can be maintained, leaving small companies to carry the burden and eventually close their doors
  • Income Taxes – Raising income taxes for individuals (you and me), and levying new fines (such as the fines for not obtaining health insurance, which is just a tax with another name)
  • Program Cuts – Reducing or eliminating non-essential Government programs to free up money to be used on essential (statutory) programs

In order to take any of these measures but the last, the debt limit must be raised.  This is the real argument in Washington; some of our legislators actually want to consider entering default and beginning to move toward solvency; most do not.

Raising the Debt Limit:  Inevitable?

Raising the debt limit allows Government to continue to operate as it is rather than cut programs.  It’s pretty clear Congress doesn’t want to cut programs; trying to fund new programs associated within the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA, aka Obama Care et al) is how we got to this point.  Existing programs were not fully funded when these additional measures were enacted; there never was a plan to pay for them other than to raid the cash box and hope for the best.

The non-essential programs that Government refuses to cut are the programs enacted to kiss the asses of the people who loaned them money before, and to chip away at our paychecks and personal liberties, thus exercising ever-increasing control over us.  Congress can’t cut those programs – those old loans might be called in by the previous investors, and where will that leave them?  In Barney.  Barney Rubble. Trouble!!!

There is no easy way out of this mess, certainly not if you are an elected official.  There is no way for Congress to avoid getting mud in their eye.  They are literally living with the consequences of their actions and the actions of those who went before them.  Problems of money, property, and prestige have come to bite them in the ass because they took loans from outsiders who expect favors in return.  That, my friends, is the bottom line.

Its spelled c-o-r-r-u-p-t-i-o-n.

The only real question facing our lawmakers right now is:  Whose ass will they kiss this time?

What would I do? I would do exactly what is supposed to be done:  fund the positive titles in the US Code (that’s why they are statutory – they are a priority) and start slashing all the non-essential people, places, and things.  I would start living within my means right now today (pay as you go, don’t buy what you can’t pay for immediately), and start working on a plan to keep it that way.  The alternative is a steady march toward bankruptcy, which will only serve to make us even more vulnerable to corruption and foreign interests down the road.

Suck it up Congress – do the right thing.  Your constituents might even have a little respect for you if you did.

Veterans Benefits & Social Security: Apples, Oranges, and Agendas

28 09 2013

For those of you who follow my blog to hear about area restaurants or get good recipes, this article will not be your cup of tea.  There is no food here, but there is plenty to chew on if you are concerned with the future of our country and issues like healthcare.  It’s a doozy, so my apologies in advance.  But if you have been in a social coma for 10 years like me, you will need the following lengthy road map to find your way back.  You have been warned.

Like a dog with a fresh bone, I’ve got this thing in my teeth now and I can’t let it go, because I can smell blood.  The blood I smell is that of myself and the dwindling number of military members and veterans, past and present, who are being offered up like lambs to the slaughter in the name of political agendas.  That blood is all over the hands of our elected officials, and I am outraged at the lies being told to get you to turn your heads away so you don’t see them washing it off.

If you want the truth, you often have to read between the lines.  I am an advocate of say what you mean and mean what you say.  But where our Government is concerned, that rarely ever happens.  So I am digging through enormous piles of propaganda to get at the truth about this issue of why I can’t seem to get seen by my VA doctor, why appointments are scheduled 3-5months out and then cancelled, and what this says about the future of everyone’s health care if a long-established system like the VA can’t function.  If you are interested in the truth, then come along with me on a walk through the landfill that is Washington politics and discover a small piece of the truth regarding health care, social security, and veterans benefits.  I hope it will motivate you to question everything you hear and seek the truth.

Some of my readers may be aware that I am a Veteran; I served 22 combined years on active duty and in the reserves of the United States Army.  Over the years, I was assigned at the smallest of organizations at the bottom of the proverbial food chain as well as places much closer to the top of the heap.  My service to this country was, at once, fulfilling and frustrating.  The view from my various posts always yielded a unique perspective that most civilians never see into the inner-workings of our government; even some of my fellow soldiers missed the larger picture because they were distracted by what was going on at their level.  Being in human resources, I often spotted trends before they were publicly acknowledged.  When new policies and procedures changed the way assignments, deployments, awards, and promotions were handled, I knew that something was afoot.  Even more telling were the statistical reports we were often asked to compile – they had a way of illuminating the never-spoken questions that arose in secure conference rooms.  Late in my career, my work kept my face in regulations and Federal law a good deal, so much so that I was dubbed “the Google Queen” at my last assignment.  It’s a title I still wear proudly today.  I love digging for the truth.  (Can you believe Google has been around that long?  Oh, sorry, I digress.)

So as I was licking yet another psychological wound inflicted by the Veterans Administration yesterday vis-à-vis a long-awaited medical appointment that was cancelled without my knowledge, I put on my “Google Queen” vest and started digging.  Things are getting worse, not better, for me with regard to accessing my VA benefits as a Disabled Veteran (Priority 1, for those on the inside who know what that means).  Yet, to listen to the news one would think that all is well and the VA has fixed all their problems and veterans are being well cared for at this time.  Not in my neck of the woods they aren’t.  So what’s the truth behind the smoke and mirrors?  To understand the answer, you need to know the history.  So here it is:

Disability Compensation (Apples) vs. Disability Insurance (Oranges)

lawIn my opinion, the Federal government has been digging around for ways to cut Veterans Benefits while telling us via the media that they want to ensure us the best possible care and compensation.  Why do I think this?  I am following the money, and reading between the lines of the government’s own documents.  It’s not hard, really:  just ask yourself why the House Ways and Means Committee, via the Congressional Research Service, requested an analytical comparison of the Disability Benefits Available Under the Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) and Veterans Disability Compensation (VDC) Programs, which was published on September 12, 2012.  While the report gives objective data regarding both programs and attempts to compare and contrast them, the nature of the comparison points to the unstated question that initiated the analysis.  To me, the report leads the reader to the conclusion that someone wanted to know if the VDC could be eliminated since veterans may also make claims under SSDI.

The report seems to assume that the programs offer the same benefits in its beginning, but later gets derailed when the analyst realizes that they are not the same at all.  Still, he tries to tell Congress what they want to hear by focusing on this key difference, as he sees it:  the VDC eligibility process does not examine an individual’s ability to work in making its determination, whereas SSDI is entirely based on an individual’s ability to work.  The analyst seems to be asking himself, shouldn’t they be the same?

If one merely skims this report, another key implication seems to be that veterans receiving VDC receive more money on average than those people drawing SSDI.  In table 1 of the report on page 12, the average monthly benefit of SSDI recipients is compared with the maximum monthly benefit available under VDC.  Is it just me, or is that a misleading comparison?  Can you hear the whining over at your house?  John Q. Public did not leave his family behind, get shot at, and lose his hearing due to repeated mortar attacks, but he wants to have the same benefits as those that did.  (In political circles, this approach is known as ‘spin.’)

If I can be so bold as to return to the original legislation that enacted these two wholly separate programs and understand the context in which they were created, I think the distinction between these programs becomes clear.

Apples:  Veterans Disability Compensation (VDC).  There is a portion of Federal law referred to as Title 38 of the United States Code (38 USC, for short) that governs Veteran’s Benefits.  It has been around for over 100 years.  The part of it that pertains to compensation for service-connected disabilities has remained essentially unchanged since the 1940’s when World War II veterans were returning; a few changes to acknowledge unforeseen illnesses from things such as Agent Orange have since been made.  This law was enacted to provide disability compensation for veterans that developed chronic illnesses or sustained injuries as a result of service to their country.  In other words, it was enacted to compensate veterans for their sacrifices made for all of us that would forever affect their quality of life.  It was not enacted to serve as compensation for an inability to work; many veterans who qualify for VDC still work full time and are productive members of society, though perhaps not in physically demanding occupations.  It was understood by our lawmakers at the time of its enactment that the difficult lifestyle and the horrors that veterans lived through were indeed a sacrifice, one that allowed the rest of you to go happily about your days in relative peace and safety.  The money for this program is a mandatory portion of the Federal budget that must be funded every year because that’s how the lawmakers wrote it down (no doubt to avoid the exact form of petty bickering taking place now – the proverbial ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’ butting heads).  They believed the sacrifices of us few were totally deserving of compensation by you, the many.  But back then, most of them had served in the military.  Not so today.

How few are we?  During World War II, about 12% of the population served in the military.  As of 2013, less than 0.5% of Americans serve in the military.  The transition from conscript service (draft) to an all-volunteer force has been the largest contributor to this trend.  But that is even more reason to make sure veterans are cared for, since so few people are willing to step up to defend our country.  Without any safety net in the event of loss of life or limb, would you join the military?  And if no one does, who will defend us and our way of life?

The numbers of members of Congress with prior military service are very enlightening:  in 1975, 70% of our Federal legislators had served in the military; today it is about 20% (according to this article).   For a little more perspective, according to the US Census Bureau, there were about 216 million Americans in 1975; today, our population numbers over 316 million.  Why would our Congress try to take away our hard-earned benefits?  Well, most of them haven’t served in the military so they don’t understand what it really takes to defend this nation.

As long as we are talking numbers, how about this statistic:  There are presently about 23 million living veterans in our midst (according to the Department of Veterans Affairs), a number expected to steadily decline in the ensuing years.  Of those, only 3.21 million were recipients of VDC as of September 2011, or roughly 14%.  That’s a pretty low number considering the physical risks involved with military service.  I think it’s safe to say that 85% of veterans don’t receive any kind of compensation at all for their service, unless they continue to serve until they are retirement eligible.  (Many claims for VDC are stuck in a huge backlog at the VA, so the number may be slightly higher.  But that’s another article).

Oranges:  Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI).  The portion of Federal law that pertains to disability compensation for injured and ill workers who can no longer work as a result of their ailments is contained in 26 USC, also known as the Internal Revenue Code.  Social Security does not have a separate chapter of law like veterans benefits do; it is tied to the IRS.  Why? Because SSDI was designed to compensate workers who become unable to work due to illness or injury – and those illnesses and injuries do not necessarily have to be caused by on-the-job conditions (unlike VDC, where service-connection is the prime determining factor).  If you have heretofore been a productive member of society, carrying your own weight, and are suddenly unable to work because you are legitimately sick or injured, then our government has agreed to provide insurance payments to you so that you might have your needs met.  How much you receive in insurance payments is also directly related to how much you have paid into the fund through work in your life prior to becoming injured or ill.  We all pay into this pot of money through our paychecks via that little line on your paystub labeled FICA (and yes, even military members pay in, and are eligible to make claims under SSDI if they become unable to work due to illness or injury).  This is the same pot of money that is used to make monthly Social Security payments to those over 65, the amount of which is also based on how much they paid in through work over the years (or that their spouse did, in the case of widows and widowers – they get to choose).

SSDI is insurance, not special compensation.  You pay into the insurance fund, then you get to make claims to withdraw from it when and if you need it and meet the criteria.  Like any other insurance policy, when the cost of honoring claims exceeds the premiums (revenue from worker’s paycheck contributions), the rates go up so that the claims can be paid (except that Congress doesn’t want to raise these taxes again for fear you will throw them out).  Social Security is also not a mandatory part of the Federal budget like the VDC, which is why lawmakers are perpetually fighting over it.  But mostly, they are fighting because they created a monster called Social Security that is not fiscally sustainable.  They want to keep it and are willing to cut any and everything else to do so.  Why?  Well votes, of course.  They like the lifelong benefits that having spent even 2 years in Congress entitles them to – a check that they wrote for themselves and we all pay.

Apples and Oranges, Sliced:  Let’s look inside these claims to see if they really are the same, shall we?  What would you guess the top two ‘disabilities’ are for which people are being paid under SSDI as of 2011?  Well, let me tell you:  1) Musculoskeletal System and Connective Tissue Disorders, and 2) Mood Disorders.  I bet you are thinking those are probably the top two claims for VDC as well, right?  I mean, we see many young soldiers missing limbs on the news, and have heard a lot of talk about PTSD and its profound effect on those who suffer with it.  Well, don’t jump to any conclusions based on what you hear on TV.  The top two reasons for VDC claims are 1) Tinnitus and 2) Hearing Loss (both hearing-related disorders).  So contrary to what you have been led to believe by our politicians and the major media outlets, most veterans are claiming compensation for medical problems that prevent them from functioning in society, like not being able to hear.  That’s because, once you adapt to prosthesis and undergo some therapy for PTSD, you can still be a functioning member of the workforce, and veterans are generally not whiners.  They work through it and do what they have to do.  It seems like the general public could learn something from that, based on their 8.58 million claims of aches and pains and mood disorders.  Oh, sorry, I’m being judgmental.  My apologies if I hurt anyone’s feelings.

The bottom line here is that the VDC and SSDI are not the same and are not overlapping programs.  If you are still not convinced, do some more reading on your own.  For me, my research has led me to asking why this non-issue was ever made an issue, and what the larger implications might be.

Agendas.  I can spot an agenda at 20 paces.  I don’t need to be in the midst of a situation to have a good feel for what is really going on.  I have good instincts; I can just observe and get a pretty firm grasp of what’s up.  Actions (including body language) speak louder than words.  But since departing the military a decade ago, I have allowed myself to stop paying attention to what is going on around me unless it is right in front of me.  I took a much needed sabbatical from giving a damn about politics and global issues.  It seems that my benign neglect has caught up with me and hit me where I live, so once again I am digging for answers.

Agendas in politics can be harder to spot than those of your co-workers, as elected officials are highly adept at using smoke and mirror tactics to lead your attention away from the truth (and they usually have the help of their fellows who nod their heads and lend credibility to their lies).  I’m all about hiding the truth to save lives and do good; lies are sometimes necessary to keep the global peace or just to be kind to your spouse (Q: “Honey, does my butt look big in this dress?” A: “Not at all!”).  But I have no tolerance whatsoever for false pretenses the likes of which I am seeing in current discussions over health care, social security, and other so-called ‘entitlements’ for our citizens.

As of September 2011, there were 8.58 million people collecting SSDI.  That number is climbing far faster than VDC claims.  SSDI will serve to prematurely break the entire Social Security system unless changes are made, like, yesterday.

Instead of finding ways to fix the Social Security problem, Congress is looking to steal money from other places, like the VDC, to allow Social Security to continue in its present form.  This is the hidden agenda that was revealed to me when reading the aforementioned Congressional Research Service report.  It’s not in the report, it’s the obvious thing that is missing from the report that they didn’t dare put in writing; it’s the answer to, “Why did they compare these two totally different programs as if they were the same?”  Read it for yourself; you’ll see it.

If Congress will consider stripping benefits away from deserved Veterans, who took bullets for them and you, to retain constituent approval and keep their jobs, don’t you believe them for a minute when they say they are doing it all to take care of you, the American people.  I’m calling bullshit on that right here and now.  They are merely trying to save themselves.  You, my friends, are on your own.  Just like me.

No money for established VA health care system?  Then there is certainly no money for ObamaCare.  We’ll talk more about that later, but for now you might want to look into it and do a little butt saving of your own.  I’m just sayin’.


15 Minute Pasta Primavera

15 04 2013

Apologies in advance. Laptop is at work and I’m not. First attempt at writing blog post from so-called smart phone. How smart? We shall see. Taking liberty of writing in bullets since doing this on phone. Already thinking the photo thing will be a problem. Oh well.

Really good eats, this. Use any pasta you like. Delicious part is the fffffast sauce. Serves 2 or one hungry girl who took the leftovers for lunch today.

1/2 pound Cooked Pasta drained, 1/4 cup cooking water reserved.
2 cloves Garlic, chopped fine
1 large Heirloom Tomato, chopped
2 tablespoons Good Olive Oil
1 cup Fresh Spinach
1/4 cup Parmiggiano Reggiano, grated
Zest and juice from 1/2 Lemon
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat sauté pan with oil over medium heat. Add garlic and tomatoes and cook, stirring occasionally, until tomatoes are soft. Add spinach, lemon juice, and lemon zest and cook, stirring often, until spinach is wilted. Toss in pasta and cooking water and cook while stirring to coat pasta. Turn off heat, stir in Parmesan, and dig in.







This Veteran’s Plea: Not One More Damn Day

9 04 2013

This is my second marathon blog post in as many weeks, the last being about a day in the life of area chefs in a competition.  From a larger view, that was fluff piece; this is a very important topic.  I hope you will read this all the way through.  It’s very important to me and my fellow veterans that more people listen to the whole truth, the ugly truth, about how things are for us.  My apologies for the length of this article, but I have been abbreviating this story long enough.

Brothers and Sisters at ArmsUnited States Flag

I just finished reading a very good book by Luis Carlos Montalván entitled, “Until Tuesday: A Wounded Warrior and the Golden Retriever Who Saved Him.”  Tuesday is the golden retriever’s name.  Luis suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) along with the after-effects of various physical wounds including Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI); Tuesday is his service dog.  It is a compelling story about Luis’ personal experiences before, during, and after his deployments to Iraq, but mostly after.  It is a story that needs to be told over and over again until the cold, hard truths in the middle of this story are heard and understood by the majority of people in our country.

I have heard it said that the truth is whatever you perceive it to be.  In other words, our perception of things is the truth to us in that moment, whether it is really true or not.  I sometimes find myself taking for truth things I hear on the television or read on the internet; if it all seems to fit with what I already know, I often don’t question it.  But when things don’t seem to fit, I have a habit of digging around for more information.  After reading this book, I think Luis and I have that in common, that burning need for the truth.

As a 22-year veteran of the Army, I can tell you unequivocally that there were times when I found myself surrounded by so many lies I didn’t think I could find the truth.  At moments like those, I used to say, “It’s a good thing I’m wearing boots.”  There were lies told to protect classified operations; there were lies told to avoid stepping on important toes; there were lies told to save asses (can I say ‘asses’ on here?  Too late.); there were lies told to preserve the integrity of the lies told before; then there were lies told just because it became a way of life for some people.  When things got a little soft underfoot, you learned to stop asking questions – unless you were me.  I never stopped asking questions, and that path was definitely the road less traveled and a bumpy one.  In 2001, I had finally had enough and declared I would not do it for one more damn day, after being faced with yet another instance of gender discrimination with nothing to be done about it without becoming a target for more lies and harrassment.  On August 1, 2001, I left the active service with 16 years of Active Duty and 4 years of reserve service prior to that.  I was officially in the Reserve for two more years, though I did not actively serve.  Twenty-two years and not one more damned day.

Luis speaks in the book of several examples of where the lies – or sometimes benign neglect – of the leadership caused extreme difficulties for the soldiers at the end of the line, including him and his Soldiers.  I have no doubt that it was exactly as he says it was; that there are others who questioned him and essentially called him a liar when he wrote about these things after leaving the Army does not surprise me one bit.  I experienced similar circumstances during my service.  That Luis was attacked by certain members of the media and was victim of a character assassination is, sadly, de rigueur for anyone who dares to speak the truth of the leadership failures in the military and our government at any level.  It’s the old smoke-and-mirrors defense; we don’t have to answer those allegations, we can just discredit the accuser and people will stop listening to them.  Better yet, they might just shut up and go away to stop the personal attacks.  I was heartened to read a story that spoke the truth, a story to which I could relate.  I am not alone in my experience; Luis has been there, too.

We Take Care of Our Own. 

It seems that Luis and I also share a deep disappointment in the United States Army, or perhaps in the topmost leaders of that organization and the politicians to which they report.  Like Luis, I don’t want to throw the baby out with the dirty bathwater; I love the Army and believe in its mission to defend our constitution.  But like Luis, I was abandoned by the very organization to which I had devoted my life.  I continue to be abandoned by our government by inadequate and often inaccessible medical care through the Veteran’s Administration (VA).  I am working full time, but I can’t afford private insurance.  As a certified-by-the-VA 50% Service-Connected Disabled Veteran, Title 38 of the United States Code (Federal Law) says I am entitled to 100% free medical care from the VA for the rest of my life.  They even sent me a book to outline the care I am entitled to receive; too bad I can’t actually get it because of where I live, and because they don’t have the resources to provide it (I live 2 hours away from the nearest full-service VA Hospital because this is where I work).

I am not “on the dole.”  Unlike most people receiving Medicaid, I earned that medical care as a benefit for illnesses and injuries incurred in the line of duty in service to my country for 22 years.  But it takes me 5-6 months of waiting to see my primary care provider, and I have to drive 2 hours to Fayetteville, NC to get my eyes checked or have a mammogram.  If I get sick with anything urgent, I have no medical resources.  The VA is obligated to provide it to me in their facilities; the nearest facility that can see me on short notice is in Fayetteville.  If I am taken to the emergency room here in town, the bill is mine to deal with.  I don’t go to the doctor; if I am feeling bad or hurt myself, I deal with it and hope for the best.  At least I have my needed medication; that’s more than many veterans.

There are an increasing number of people just like me, many without even the meager resources of the VA to call upon.  For that, our government and its money-eating programs and policies is responsible.  They are spending all of our tax money creating new programs instead of funding the ones they already have.  Not to discount the needs of others in similar circumstances (the working poor that are not disabled veterans), but the government is legally obligated to take care of me under a long-standing law, not some new policy.  They are not doing it.  Why are they writing new laws for more services of this ilk for the general population when they can’t even sustain the programs they have for Veterans?  (The services are being cut even more under the so-called Sequestering process, which is akin to a bankruptcy reorganization that our government is undergoing.  Just this week President Obama pledged more money for VA services, but where it will come from no one knows.)

soldier-flagNo Man Left Behind.

About this we could talk for hours, or at least I could.  Instead, I just want you to know that there are hundreds of thousands of veterans in my situation, many who have PTSD and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) that they cannot substantiate to the VA because the paperwork wasn’t done properly while they were deployed.  In yet another twist of betrayal, the Army encourages Soldiers to “suck it up” when they are hurting rather than seek medical treatment; this absence of a medical paper trail later makes it hard to get the care to which they are entitled under law. Those that can substantiate their problems administratively are waiting as long as 2 years for the VA to review their claim.  Even soldiers who lose limbs can be left waiting for up to 2 years for their VA claim to be reviewed while they suffer, unable to work or feed their families, having to apply for welfare because the VA has yet to look at their claim.  Veterans who lose limbs in the line of duty are entitled to adequate compensation to live on under Title 38; but if they have to wait 2 years to begin to receive it, how will they survive in the interim?  They have been left behind.

If you’ve heard on the news that the VA has fixed their administrative problems and they are all caught up on the paperwork, you have been fed a lie.  I have a friend who retired from the Army about 21 months ago who is still waiting for the VA to review her claim; her last tour in Afghanistan was extremely traumatic and she knows she needs help, but she can’t get it.  She finally found a private counseling firm that is taking her on as a client and working with her on payments.  Another friend who retired the year before had her claim reviewed at the 2-year point.  My friends are lucky; they also have health insurance through TRICARE since they are retirees and can get their care through other sources.  Many thousands of us are not that fortunate, and many are far worse off than me.  I am already “in” the VA system, such as it is; getting in is seemingly insurmountable for some veterans; 2 years might as well be 20 years, so grave is the impact of that wait on their health and well-being.

Their battle will not end with a review, either.  They will likely have part of their claim denied and will have to file an appeal and wait again.  This is a standard outcome with VA Disability Claims; it took my original claim 14 months to be reviewed, and part of it was denied even though the paperwork was in order.  It took me getting a review by a different VA office to get my claim processed (which I was only able to do because I had moved and jurisdiction over my claim had changed as a result).  It is an uphill climb to get into the VA system.  That Luis was accused by a reporter of ‘faking’ his injuries after the VA had processed his claim is laughable; if the VA said his injuries are for real, they most certainly are and he likely suffered many indignities to secure that ruling.

Why Haven’t We Heard About This?

There are those, such as Luis, who have spoken out.  Like Luis, they all paid a high personal price for their honesty and suffered attacks on their characters or just weren’t believed.  If they happened to also have an addiction problem or have had scrapes with law enforcement (both very common among troubled, untreated veterans), they were ignored as not credible.  Also, Soldiers are trained to keep quiet, not to air the Army’s dirty laundry in public.  It’s part of the culture; we talk about it amongst ourselves, but never out in town.  Like victims of physical abuse, we just don’t talk about it to outsiders.

The major media outlets will not cover stories like wounded Soldiers being abandoned by the government.  They need access to government officials for their feature stories; they can’t risk alienating them by covering unsavory stories of government inadequacy or failure.  Instead, the media outlets run stories showing happy endings, help received, high-tech prosthesis donated, and modified homes built by Habitat for Humanity for our wounded warriors.  This is all great stuff, but if the government just compensated these wounded warriors in a timely manner like they should, they wouldn’t need to have a house donated.  You won’t see a story like Luis’ on any of the big National TV news programs.  There is simply too much to lose for them to take on a story of this nature and magnitude.

Just use Google and search for “Veterans waiting for Benefits.”  The stories are out there with reputable news sources, they just don’t make the National news because it is politically unsavory.  All roads lead back to Congress and the White House, and the media does not like to shake that tree too hard.

Make Some Noise.

Just because you don’t hear it on TV doesn’t mean it’s not true.  Likewise, just because you read it in print doesn’t make it so.  Talk to a veteran and ask her what her experience has been, and research it for yourself.  The truth can be found in the words of those living in this situation.

If you are as outraged about this abandonment and neglect of our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines as I hope you are, talk about it.  Tell everyone you know.  Help us raise awareness.  Maybe you can even write a letter or email to your Congressmen asking them to do something about it.  Nothing gets done in this country without public outcry.  Many of these Troops cannot or will not speak for themselves, lest they be perceived as ‘weak’.  They defended your freedom and your life; maybe you could make some noise for them in their time of need.

To our Government, I send this plea:  Please don’t leave me and my fellow veterans without our earned health care, not for one more damn day.

Why blog when someone will do it for you?

3 04 2013

Hey there!  Long time no post.  Again.  It’s getting to be a pattern with me, yes?

Ah, well, why stress?  As it turns out, someone else blogged for me today, so no need to blather on here.  Go visit the Port City Foodies blog and read about my opinion.  I mean really, does anyone care what I think?  Don’t answer that.

I will be at the finale of Fire on the Dock tonight as a so-called “pro” judge.  That just means my vote counts for slightly more than the average diner, but not enough to tip the win or loss one direction or another.  So I am just one of 120 voters tonight, and I am looking forward to the tasty creations of the last two competitors standing in this regional battle, Gerry Fong and Clarke Merrell.  Their long day began about 3 hours ago; I wish them both the best!

I did such a good job of maintaining this blog (NOT) that my boss gave me another one to maintain (uh oh).  You can check it out over here where there actually is a recipe that I posted today.  One way or another I will get around to all of this…I swear.

JoshPettySeaBassCroquetteParting Shot, prepared by Chef Josh Petty of Sweet ‘n Savory from Battle Striped Bass at Competition Dining’s Fire on the Dock:

Striped Bass & Pancetta Croquet with Fennel Salad, Oyster Mushrooms, Chiffonade Collard Greens, Tricolor Pepper Sofrito & Lobster Dill Cream

My Opinion:  Creative and well-executed!

Under Fire: In the Competition Dining Kitchen

21 03 2013

Competition Dining is a cooking competition here in North Carolina that is the brainchild of Jimmy Crippens.  It celebrates all things food in North Carolina, pitting chefs from five regions in the state against their neighbors in a cooking competition featuring North Carolina grown, raised, or manufactured products.  As Jimmy likes to say to the diners, who are also judges in the competition, “This competition is about three things:  The Farmer, The Chef, and You.”  On any given evening, diners blindly taste their way through six dishes – three each from two competing chefs – voting as they go in categories such as presentation, aroma, taste, and the use of the secret ingredient du jour.  If you would like to know more about how the competition works from a diner’s standpoint, read the articles here and here and here.

IMG_1705Today, I have been granted access to the kitchens at Fire on the Dock, the Coastal region’s segment of this statewide competition.  I have asked to follow two chefs through this competition from the moment they receive word on the secret ingredient until the winner is announced.  Jimmy very graciously allowed me to follow two competitors who have earned their way to the semi-final rounds this year, a rematch of sorts from last year’s semi-final round between these very same toques: Chef Joshua Woo of YoSake in downtown Wilmington, and Chef Gerry Fong of Persimmons in New Bern.

There is no doubt that both of these gentleman can cook, as they have already proved by making it this far.  But this competition is about a lot more than just cooking.  Past battles have faced many calamities out of everyone’s control, such as cakes that didn’t rise from too-cool ovens, custards that didn’t set in warm refrigerators, and a myriad of other bumps in the road.  The chefs and their teams must find a way to serve three courses to the “Joes and Pros” on time no matter what.  But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  Having a positive attitude is one of the keys to success in competition.

This is my insider’s look at a day in the life of the chefs in this delicious Statewide Competition.  Let’s get cooking, shall we?

3:00 AM:  Jimmy Crippen, Emcee and Mastermind of Competition Dining, woke up and started his day, beginning with traveling from Fort Lauderdale, FL to Wilmington, NC. (He made me put this in here; I have no personal knowledge of its truthiness.)

8:00 AM:  Charging the battery on my laptop.  Ticking off my packing list:  Laptop – check; Power cord – check; Phone (camera) charger – check; Notepad – check; Three pens – check; Tea bags – check (I never leave home without them).  I think I’m all set.

I wonder what Teams Woo and Fong are up to right now?  I know that they are not packing their laptops and phone chargers – these devices are prohibited for competitors.  They may, however, be packing up some binders of tried and true recipes, which are permissible in the kitchens.

As for me, I’m off to my day job to make sure everything is set so that my absence will not be felt.  It’s a cooking class night for us, and one of our star chefs is in the house.

10:15 AM:  Pick up coffee from Port City Java; run into Chefs Josh Woo and Dan Crissey getting coffee.  See you down there!

12:00 PM:  Chefs assemble to get briefing and word of tonight’s secret ingredient.  The chef teams share a table and wait pensively through administrative announcements, anxious to get going.  Announcements include this list of basic rules:

  • Try not to serve the same proteins
  • Menus are due to Chef Referee at 3:30pm.
  • Chef Ref Stan Chamberlin

    Chef Ref Stan Chamberlin

    Chef Ref Lawrence is not in the house today; the original Chef Ref Stan Chamberlin, formerly of Crippin’s Country Inn & Restaurant, will be officiating.

  • No signature dishes from your restaurant
  • You must be escorted to the bathroom or pantry truck after 5:30pm.  (Apparently, there have been spies loitering around hoping to get insider information from team members.  Leaks.  Drama.)

12:10 PM:  Secret ingredient is Hillsborough Cheese Company Cheeses, specifically Goat Feta, Goat Chevre, and Cow’s Milk Farmer’s Cheese.  Each team has 10 pounds of each cheese.  (I’m thinking that’s a lot of cheese.  Sixty pounds of cheese, 120 diners – that’s a half pound each.  Or maybe a pound for me and .4917 pounds for everybody else.)

IMG_1708 IMG_1707 IMG_1706

12:20 PM:  The teams raid the Pantry Truck provided by Pate-Dawson/Southern Foods and start pondering their menus.  I notice a lot of eggs going in the Team Fong cart, and some decidedly porky looking products going upstairs with Team Woo.

IMG_1710 IMG_1713IMG_1734IMG_1719

12:45 PM:  I feel a bit like I am in a broadcast booth at a radio station as I sit here in the southern part of the dining room that has been partitioned off to provide us with working space while the Red Hat ladies whoop it up with a luncheon on the other side (those ladies can party – they were even singing at one point!)  Team Fong is on the balcony just outside the window hashing out their menu, while Team Woo works theirs out in the kitchen.

1:00 PM:  Both teams are settling into the kitchen, dividing up tasks and work space as they continue to refine their menu concepts.  They are playing it very close to the vest, not wanting to divulge their ideas to me yet.  So instead of prying about the food, I get personal.

Team Woo: IMG_1732

Chef Joshua Woo:  Josh is having fun cooking with his team, but he is very focused on the food.  I sense he is taking this competition very seriously.  He’s all business as I try to chat him up, and we end up talking pork belly.  No personal sharing today; he has a job to do.  I may not be nicknamed “Chef Bacon” but I love me some pork, too.  Yes, Josh, I will take a picture of the pork belly.  Focused.

Chef Rebeca Alvarado Paredes:  As pastry chef at manna, Rebeca has made quite a reputation for IMG_1736herself in her short time in Wilmington.  A graduate of Johnson & Wales Pastry School and a youngun’ to this grandmother, Rebeca is nonetheless a focused professional in the kitchen who seems to truly enjoy her work.  She plied me with samples.  I stood closer.  She knows my sweet tooth is in charge because I eat her desserts regularly; it’s an unfair advantage.  Fortunately, I too am a professional and cannot be bought.  Oh wait, I’m not voting.  Well, even if I was, a little bit of caramel-soaked brown butter cake and a smidge of deliciously smooth, creamy panna cotta would not sway my vote.  No way.

Chef Dan Crissey:  Dan has worked alongside Josh Woo for many years before entering the Corporate world at Whole Foods in Wilmington as Supervisor of Prepared Foods.  Dan brings a big smile and can-do attitude to Team Woo today.  There was also a little story we shared about Josh in which I knew the beginning – a tasting menu with bite size food and full size drink pairings – and Dan knew the ending from later that same night.  Wilmington is a small town.  If you don’t know what you are doing, someone else always does.

Team Fong: 

IMG_1730 Chef Gerry Fong:  Bringing a little bit of his Chinese roots to his cooking, Gerry focuses on using local products to create modern dishes with a nod to tradition.  He says it feels good to be back in the kitchen for a rematch with Josh – the pair met last year in the semi-finals of this same competition.  He’s not looking ahead too far, though, saying “I’m here to have fun and put out some great food for 120 diners tonight.”

Chef Mark Turner, Executive Catering Chef for NCSU: Mark and Gerry have been friends for years, having met when working for a food service supplier years ago.  He says he’s come to help his buddy cook tonight to have fun and hopefully get one battle closer to the coveted red chef jacket.  He says, “Gerry is a natural; He’s IMG_1754extremely talented.”

Sous Chef Terrance Guion – Terrance is working as Gerry Fong’s understudy at Persimmons.  Before that, he was working at Wendy’s.  That transition was a short distance but a world apart.  Of working with Gerry he says, “It’s great.  I love my job.”  He credits Gerry with teaching him what he knows about cooking and solidifying his interest in a culinary career.

2:12 PM:  As the teams get focused and work on building flavors for their dishes, it seems one team is a bit ahead of the other in menu planning.  Both teams have nailed down their desserts and have them well underway.IMG_1758

The Fong team has a clear concept of their first and second course, with cheese taking a prominent role as expected in this competition.

The Woo team seems unsure of what their first and second courses will look like, though they have decided that Pork Belly, Bacon, Pancetta, and Shrimp will be seen on the plates.  With little more than an hour until their menu is due to Chef Referee Stan Chamberlin, team Woo is deferring their decisions until tasting their way through the options.  So the pork belly is rendering, the shrimp are being peeled, and the bacon is staged.  We shall see what becomes of this soon…the clock is ticking!

Fong Menu thus far:  1st – Trifecta of Cheese with Feta & Andouille Wonton, Arancini di Riso, and Fried Farmer’s Cheese Stick; 2nd Veal, polenta; 3rd – Lavender Goat Cheese Ice Cream

Woo menu thus far: – 1st – Ravioli? 2nd – Pork Belly w/Feta?  3rd – Goat Cheese Panna Cotta with Braised Fruit and Mixed Nut Brown Butter Cake


2:39 PM:  This author can certify that the Pistachio Lavender Ice Cream is totally awesome – thanks Gerry!  Shhh.

IMG_17312:52 PM:  Lunch arrives for the Competitors – Pulled pork sandwiches and tater tots.  (Well, what did you think they eat, foie gras?)

3:01 PM:  Team Woo throws in the note pad and goes back to the pantry truck to brainstorm ideas for two of their three dishes.

3:24 PM:  The BlueWater Staff is polishing silverware and setting tables in preparation for tonight.

3:30 PM:  Both Teams have committed to menus and are forging ahead with cooking.  Team Woo is still waiting to decide on finishing touches of their platings until things are further along.  Uh oh.  Not a good sign.

IMG_1728 IMG_1725 IMG_1721 IMG_1722 IMG_1720 IMG_1724 IMG_1713IMG_1737  A lot of cooking has been going on in this kitchen.  Much of the preparation is complete, though many of these dishes require multiple cooking processes.  The arancini from Team Wong, for instance, started as risotto traditionally begins: in a pan on the stove with liquid being gradually added whilst near-constant stirring was taking place.  Now the risotto has cooled, balls are being formed, cheese is being stuffed into the middle; soon they will be breaded with panko, and eventually fried before being served.  Similarly, Team Woo has seared then braised their Pork Belly, which will be served with cheesy grits cakes in a couple of hours.

5:00 PM:  I am impressed with the calm in the kitchen, everyone focused on the myriad tasks before them, yet managing to smile and be courteous to each other and to me.  I know they must be feeling the pressure of the clock ticking, but they are all doing a great job of keeping calm and carrying on.  Consummate professionals, all.  But seriously, it’s just a bit too quiet for my tastes.  I think I’ll go out to the dining room – they have music playing now.

5:38 PM:  Desserts are being portioned, raviolis are being par-cooked, sauces are being reduced, and all the components of the plates to be served are taking shape.  Except for the sweat rolling down backs, everyone here is still cool as a cucumber.  All this calm is unnerving.  Why isn’t anyone freaking out?  Probably because I am not competing; that would lead to some serious freaking out.

5:46 PM:  The dining room has been transformed, and the wait staff is standing by.

IMG_1733 IMG_1739 IMG_1740 IMG_17476:00 PM:  Judy Royal, official social media guru for the competitions, has arrived and is setting up her makeshift studio from which she will tweet and Facebook all the action of tonight’s battle.

6:15 PM:  The guests start to arrive and are ushered into the bar while the staff fills water glasses.  In the kitchen, plates are being counted and items for plating are being staged.

6:30 PM:  Team Woo works out plating for their second course, gives it a taste, then takes a supervised break from the kitchen with Chef Ref Stan.

7:08 PM:  The dining room is fully seated and the ceremonies get underway with Christi Ferretti and Jimmy Crippen officiating.  Word has it that Christi may become the official mistress of ceremonies for Fire on the Dock next year.  Wait – is Jimmy already abdicating his new career?  Seems new to me, but he has been building this thing for years.  Being in five places at once is exhausting, I know.  Keep us posted, Jimmy.

7:25 PM:  Managers appear with headsets.  Chef Ref calls for service.  White shirted servers line up.  The first plate leaves the kitchen.

Blur.  Blur.  Blur.

8:12 PM:  Grown man: “Is that Broccoli Rabe?  It’s Yucky.”  Me:  “No, it’s Rappini.”  Belly laughs as I think of my 8 year old grandson.  Grown man’s wife says, “That’s not going to be in your article, is it?”  You betcha.

Blur.  Blur.  Blur.

8:56 PM:  h.its Tech Staff Member:  “Ma’am, have you been voting this evening?”  Diner:  “No, was I supposed to?”  More belly laughs in the staff work room.

Blur.  Blur.  Blur.

9:25 PM:  The last plate leaves the kitchen.

9:40 PM:  Chef teams are introduced and recognized.  Chef moms are introduced and recognized – they are so sweet!  Vote tallies are announced…no.  Technical difficulties.

9:50 PM:  Vote tallies are announced…and the winner is Team Fong!

As I congratulate the winners, attempt to console the losers, and rush home to let my dog out, I reflect on the day overall.  All of these cooks busted their butts tonight to feed a room full of people who were judging the product of their labor.  That is what this program is all about – the farmer, the chef, and the diners.  In every competition there are so-called winners and losers; but winning and losing are just words assigned to describe the outcome of this game.  I could see the disappointment on Chef Woo’s face, hear it in his words as he asked me – probably because I had been there all day, certainly not because I am an expert – “Where did I go wrong?”  It doesn’t matter, my friend.  It’s in the history books now.

This competition is indeed a game.  While there is a little bit of money at stake, and recognition for the state and regional winners, it is not life; it is just a day in the life.  Today both chefs will likely don their jackets and aprons and head into the kitchens that they oversee on a daily basis.  There they will probably sigh in relief that they are back in their comfort zone.  They will likely prepare meals for their customers, push some paperwork around, place some orders, perhaps hire or fire some staff, maybe work on crafting their menus for spring and summer since the season change is upon us.  Tonight, both will go home to their families.  Tomorrow they will do it all again.  That is their life, not this one night in this competition.  These chefs make a difference every day in the lives of their family and friends, and in the food they lovingly craft and serve to happy customers.

I hope all the competitors had some fun and will remember the funny moments, the team work, the experience.  I hope Team Woo will hold their heads high and be proud of the results of their work.  It’s all good, guys.  Really.  Thanks for letting me be there.

I think a diner last evening said it best, just before the results were announced:  There are no losers here.

For the menu, pretty food pictures, and official results of Battle Hillsborough Cheese, visit this link.

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